day 1

day 1 of disappearing (from him at least)

constantly reminding myself to know my place in his life, in anyone's life. and people treat you based on what you are to them. and that is just who i am to him. a no one. a nobody. i can't expect him to treat me the way i wanted. he's not obligated to doing that. i am reminding me all these things now.

let bygone be bygone. i can't change the past. i can't undo all the things i did. i can only move forward. carry on living my life and leave all the bad things behind. stop doing things i know aren't right. stop doing things that i know are wrong. 

and what should i stop? caring more than enough. giving things because i care way too much when in fact, they're just using you. can't really be mad about this either since i know i've been used and keep on letting that happen. 

so stupid, really. i really give my everything, i did everything for him. and still. they're not enough. because all those things i did for him, is literally nothing to him.

so, for god sake rose, please stop. it's time. it's time.